How to start having Tantric sex (tips for beginners)
There’s not really a recipe for tantric sex but there are a few guiding principles:
Breathing:Just like in yoga, focusing on your breathing helps to put you in the moment and make you more mindful, and it also moves energy within your body.
Slowing down:Carrellas recommends the “three for 30” approach. Meaning if you would normally do 30 strokes of something, do only three in the same period of time. Tantra is obviously not for impatient people.
Eye gazing:“In tantra, we use eye gazing as the gateway into the soul,” says Carrellas. “It puts you into a deep, altered state with someone.” (So maybe doggy style isn’t the best place to start if you’re looking for a tantric sex life.)
Undulating:Moving your body helps move that all-important energy around. Carrellas suggests, “moving your pelvis and PC muscle [the pubococcygeus, the muscle you use in kegels] as an energy pump, not just as a physical fuck muscle. Imagine the energy that’s in your genitals moving up your spine into the rest of your body, over the top of your head, and onto your partner’s body.” Just don’t laugh while you’re imagining this.
Another tantric-inspired practice you can try is called the Daily Devotion, recommended by sex therapist and tantra practitioner Jacqueline Hellyer. The way it works is you and your partner spoon every day in the morning with him lying directly behind you. He inserts his penis into you and keeps it there for five to 10 minutes. Hellyer recommends, “Just lying there, breathing together. No movement, maybe the odd vaginal squeeze. Feel what happens.”
If having non-moving sex doesn’t excite you, you can also experiment with the traditional tantric sex position Yab Yum, which is supposed to encourage more intimacy and connection between partners. Yab Yum is where a woman sits in the man’s lap wrapping her legs around his waist, with both partner’s arms around each other and both people’s root chakras (or genitals) connected. Check out this informative yet sexy YouTube video that breaks the position down.
Tantric Sex in Popular Culture:
Obviously, if it has anything to do with sex, Carrie Bradshaw has tried it. There’s a hilarious scene inSex and the Citywhere the girls go to a private tantric massage workshop and watch a live demonstration of a man getting his dong massaged. It’s pretty amazing.
Video: Introduction to Tantric Sex
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