In our world, the ability to speak correctly and beautifully is given a lot of attention. Courses and trainings have been organized, a lot of cognitive programs have been released that contribute to the development of the gift of speech, teach the right turnovers and the ability to express one's thoughts. However, we forget that in human communication it is important not only to speak, no less significant - to listen and hear the interlocutor.
The ability to listen to others is considered one of the manifestations of culture, good education and self-sufficiency. A person who attentively listens to the interlocutor makes him feel positive emotions, such as:
- Pleasant excitement;
- A sense of self-importance and need.
Listening to the interlocutor, you make him feel happy, thus, expressing his support, and making a compliment to his art of orator.
A person who can listen attentively learns a lot of new things, ponders and makes up the right, logical answer to his questions. This ability helps to achieve respect in society, and in career growth significant heights.If you learn to “not disconnect” your brain at the moment when you are told something, not to think about extraneous things, you will understand that through human intercourse the world is known through its pros and cons.
How to develop the ability to listen and understand people?
You do not interrupt a person, look into his eyes and pretend to listen. However, you catch yourself thinking that you do not understand, and are not aware of the words spoken to them. Therefore, remember the rules that will help you develop the ability to listen and hear the interlocutor:
The ability to listen begins with the introduction of the brain into a state close to the sensations of the baby. He perceives the surrounding sounds, evaluating them and dividing into good and bad. His attention is focused on all sounds, in order to extract important information from this and take advantage of it in the future. Practice evaluating the words that you hear from the other person, highlighting the most important and brushing off the unnecessary.
Try to get everything that the person who talks to you tells you to reach your consciousness. Listen actively, connecting to this process not only the physiological abilities of the body to hearing, but also the process of perception and understanding of information.
Listen to the end
Do not try to interrupt a person at that moment when he says something is wrong. Put “ticks” in your head on those moments where you need clarification, refutation or an additional question. Do not enter into controversy until you hear what the other person wants to tell you. Understand the words he utters and the subtext with which he speaks.
It is better to listen to the end and understand, than to kill, make a scandal and offend a person undeservedly.
During a conversation with a person, mentally put yourself in his place. Try to "get into his skin" and experience the feelings that he feels. Feeling a person, you will understand the true meaning of his words, more accurately grasp the goal that he pursues, talking with you. Psychologists joke that in order to hear a person, we have one ear, and in order to understand the meaning of his words - another.
Communication style for each person is special. Educated and tactful people are able to formulate phrases, build a logical narration, and tell in such a way that one can be heard. But not all of us are the same, sometimes you have to listen to the person you like, but the gift of communication is endowed to a lesser extent.Then judge not how a person speaks correctly, but what he is trying to tell you. Get rid of the consciousness of your own superiority over the interlocutor. Concentrate on the content of the conversation.
Do not think about other problems during a conversation, even if you think the topic of conversation is not interesting. Extract rational grains from each conversation. It happens that in a normal conversation, you can find something important and informative. Critically evaluate what you are told, but catch the essence of the conversation and look for central moments.
As mentioned above, put a "tick" on those points in communication that require a detailed response or additional information. But do not let your thoughts get away from the topic of conversation. Do not formulate a response speech at the moment when the interlocutor is still speaking. Concentrating on the right answer, you miss the climax of the conversation, and the further development of the topic.
If you enter into a conversation with a person in order to learn something interesting and useful for yourself, it is implied that you are full of optimism and desire to listen to the interlocutor. Try to find the thread that connects you with this person at the moment, and do not lose sight of it in the continuation of communication.If you feel the inner relationship, you will enjoy the conversation in which you entered.
Having chosen the topic of the conversation, do not depart from it, do not be distracted by thinking about the small things that you do not need at the moment. Grabbing the thread of the necessary information, the thought process will concentrate on the main topic of the conversation. Then you can easily link all the facts received from a person with the picture that your brain “draws”.
Strain your brain
If you are facing a goal - to increase brain activity, start learning the material from the beginning. Only after that start difficult tasks. Now, looking for the answer from the interlocutor to a difficult question, you will be able to build a logical chain of the information received, where each link will be in its place.
This compound word combines the ability of the human brain to concentrate and process information obtained from several sources. We communicate with the world through 5 communication channels: sight, touch, smell, hearing and taste buds. Reinforce the data obtained in the conversation with another communication channel.
The development of listening skills is impossible without the work of imagination.Scientists have found that we are listening to the left hemisphere of the brain, but in the process of understanding the information received, the whole brain is involved in the work. Therefore, listening to the interlocutor, draw in front of him pictures of what he is talking about. Let it concern the lecture that the teacher reads, “write” in your head the formula that is shown on the blackboard. You will be able to link together the words that he says, the meaning of symbols and remember this equation.
Do not go away from the problem that you are unpleasant in the words of the speaker. You express disagreement later. In the meantime, listen to the person’s point of view, compare the arguments, look for meaning between the lines and set priorities. Respect someone else's point of view, she has the right to life just like your own.
Speed of thought process
Engage the thought process at full capacity. As long as your opponent speaks, you can evaluate his words, anticipate the further development of the monologue, summarize the facts, weigh all the pros and cons, and formulate an answer.
People suffering from lack of concentration, one of the worst interlocutors.If you feel your lack, do not think about it in the process of communication. If you don’t focus on the fact that now your brain is “disconnected” from the topic of conversation, and you are afraid of it, this fact will not happen. This deficiency is amenable to “treatment” - forget about it, and indulge in a conversation with an interesting person.
Rather, it concerns business negotiations. It is impossible, to ask the lecturer to interrupt for 5 minutes in order for the brain to rest, and with a new force took up the assimilation of information. In a business conversation such a move is possible. Listen to the interlocutor as long as you feel you are able to perceive the information emanating from him. As soon as you start to get distracted from the topic of conversation, take a break. Ten minutes is enough.
Achieve perfection in the ability to correctly express your thoughts and correctly formulate phrases.
Learn from them to be interesting and build the right monologue. Improving this skill, you can be the same interesting interlocutor, who would be happy to listen without interrupting.
Convenient position of the body during communication guarantees 50% success.If you are sitting on a hard low stool, then after a few minutes your muscles will “resist” to such a position of the body. You will become distracted by your discomfort, and the conversation will come to a standstill. The person will understand that you are not listening to him, and just stop the story. Stay comfortable (possible in a particular situation), and get ready for a conversation.
Of great importance for the ability of perception of information, has the physical and spiritual health of the listener. If you are in good physical shape, calm and ready to communicate, then you will not only be interested in listening, but also pleasant.
Test "What am I a student?"
Answer all yes or no questions. Every positive answer is 1 point.
- I catch the thought, and I'm not interested in listening anymore.
- Waiting for the end of the story.
- Focusing on the topic of conversation.
- I am looking for subtext.
- I interrupt, but only in order to clarify the details or assert.
- I start a conversation on another topic, if this one is not interesting to me.
- I notice errors in the speech of the speaker.
- I do not consider it necessary to communicate with those who are unpleasant to me.
- I extract rational from any conversation.
- I listen to the end even when I do not agree with the opponent.
- I think over the answer during the monologue of the partner.
- I do not listen to the lengthy narration of the interlocutor.
- I select only the necessary and important for me.
- I listen out of politeness.
- I identify myself with the speaker.
- Interrupting at the moment when I do not agree with the person.
- More often I nod my head in agreement.
- Accurately and truthfully answer the question.
- People like to talk to me.
- After the speech of the interlocutor, I express my point of view.
- Do not talk to strangers.
- I try not to take my eyes off the interlocutor's eyes.
- I accept the point of view of the opponent, but I have my own.
- I pretend to listen while I miss.
- I think about solving a problem at the moment when a person is still speaking.
- I understand that the meaning of what was said for each person can be different.
- I correct the interlocutor's mistakes (semantic and phonetic).
- I do not listen to those who are not worthy of my attention.
- I enjoy talking to people.
- I listen more, but I say less.
Calculate the number of points:
From 25 to 30 - an excellent listener.
From 20 to 24 is a good listener, but you need to improve this skill.
10 to 14 is a bad listener.
Up to 9 points - analyze your mistakes, otherwise people will refuse to communicate with you.
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