How not to take everything to heart

Alena's husband is absolutely right. There are people who are especially sensitive. And the term in psychology is: VChL (highly sensitive people). And the term psychologist Elaine N. Aron introduced this term, describing it in her book The Highly Sensitive Person.

So, what are they, highly sensitive people?

VChL more strongly than others react to stimuli of the surrounding world. Any stimuli, both positive and negative, they process so carefully, that then they have an overload of consciousness. As a result, such people break down, cry, hide from the rest - in a word, they frighten themselves and others.

They are physiologically interested in everything. They perfectly taste, touch, hear sounds, smell. They can burst into tears in a cinema, fall into a depression from a negative plot in a museum picture, they are sad when someone is sad, they are acutely aware of both beauty and mockery of nature, they can suffer for a long time because of a random criticism of a stranger.

How not to take everything to heart

They are also very sensitive to emotions, their own and others.They can easily put themselves in the place of any person, realize what he feels, and in accordance with this they understand why he did this and not otherwise. This is called "developed empathy."

And this is not introverts? No. VChL is a completely different concept. A highly sensitive person can be an introvert or an extrovert. He can have as many friends, and few. He can even, as a true extrovert, strive for society, strive to help everyone, and then get tired of feelings for everyone who is dear.

Where do VCHL come from?

And the reasons for the appearance of such features of the psyche are physiological. In VCHL, the part of the brain that is responsible for the synthesis of information about the environment and the mood of a person is more active. Such people have a high level of empathy due to the increased number of mirror neurons (brain cells responsible for the experience of another person).

Hypersensitivity is not a disease or a complex nature. This is just a hereditary feature that helps the entire species survive. For example, it is known that sensitive horses that are in the herd have special duties.They should always be on the edges of the herd in order to change their behavior in case of danger, thereby warning the entire herd and saving it from attack.

Pluses VChL

  1. VChL, as we have said, is very empathetic, and therefore you will not have to explain for a long time how you feel and how you need to help. They also have a developed intuition, they know how to listen, they are generous.
  2. To creativity. And therefore with them it is always interesting. Can lead you by some unusual idea. Among the VCHL there are many artists, poets, writers, designers, musicians.
  3. Extremely susceptible to beauty and kindness, generous and noble. There are also many environmentalists, animals, volunteers, philanthropists among the VChL.

How not to take everything to heart

Cons VChL

  1. It is difficult for some HFCs to express themselves. All because of the same empathy. For example, a girl wants to learn how to dance professionally, but does not sign up for dancing, because she is afraid of condemning her family, she is afraid of upsetting her mother, and turn a guy against herself.
  2. Many VChLs are extremely irritable, constantly walking with “bare nerves”, seeing the world as an inhuman place, where they use noble people for their own purposes, laugh at them.If they see a clear injustice, they will blaze with anger and indignation.
  3. VChL have problems at work. Absorb other people's negative emotions, like a sponge, and therefore may leave the meeting extremely upset or tired. Just like in the example with Alena.
  4. HTK are sensitive to criticism and self-criticism. It is logical that they are extremely susceptible to criticism of others, especially if they do not expect it. That is why it is very hard to worry, angry, scandalous, crying, offended, depressed, cannot calm down for a long time and, accordingly, correct even obvious mistakes.

How not to take everything to heart

On the other hand, such people are extremely harsh towards themselves: they often condemn themselves, underestimate themselves, and demand more from themselves than they can do.

How can highly sensitive people make their lives easier?

  1. Understand and accept. If you belong to highly sensitive people, first of all you need to understand that everything is fine with you. There are 1.4 billion people like you on earth. And if nature genetically creates people like you, then it needs it. Allow yourself to be a highly sensitive person.
  2. Realize and name. Engage in emotional self-regulation, namely, allow yourself to feel, realize and name your emotions.For example: "I'm angry now, because the head did not listen to a new employee. My emotion is normal. ” Or: “I am crying now from this book, because the main character was not treated well. This emotion is also normal. Although the story is most likely invented. But I am a living person, and I can suffer. ”
  3. Understand that others are not unfeeling, but others. You must admit, it is impossible for a blind person who has never seen in his life to explain what blue color is. Even if he nods and pretends that he understood, he still will not understand. So it makes no sense to be surprised, angry that people cannot understand your sensitivity. Because it is different for them - they have a different coordinate system for this. And this is normal if colleagues do not understand why you are so annoyed by the smell of potatoes in the workplace, the rustling of sheets, loud music or the aroma of a colleague who came into your office while you were not there. People are afraid of incomprehensible people and illogical reactions. And to avoid problems, learn to speak the language of others. For example, say that food is better absorbed in specially designated places, and invite a lover of potatoes in a cafe.
  4. Avoid negativity.Sensitive people become infected with the emotions of other people. If you communicate with negative people a lot, it can lead to psychological exhaustion. If it’s customary in your team to criticize, offend, substitute, shift responsibility to each other, it’s time to change the team to a more professional one.
  5. To take care. Your brain, as we have already disassembled, processes information at times more than the brain of an ordinary person. Consequently, you need more time to restore the nervous system. Take care of yourself. Do not plan a lot of responsible affairs for one day. Strip communication with loneliness. Build your schedule so that you have time to spend several times a day without sharp irritants.

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